Finding my balance.
It’s been too long. I’ve thrown in some half ass blogs since I’ve been away. From Colombia to Beijing and back, its been crazy. In fact, as I write this, I’m counting eight times where I’ve left Canada in just this year alone. The opportunities, the ideas, the sights I’ve seen have been nothing but awesome. Although, I did hit a low point in the last month when my day job took over my life. A ridiculous amount of deliverables needed to be generated in an impossible timeframe. All in preparation for a major milestone on the project I’m working on.
I would describe the low point as lack of balance. Working morning, day and night with little to no breaks, eating when someone would remind me to eat, was absolutely insane. In fact, I would say that over and over, “ this is f*cken insane” as I offered my sweat and tears to the work, heck, I even slept at work one night. During the night, I recall saying to myself, what’s the opportunity here? Why am I doing this? what is it worth to me? It was an uncomfortable feeling. Although, I’ve learned that there are always silver linings. This is the thought that helped me push through even my lowest point.
In the past I would focus only on work. I would ignore family and friends in pursuit of stardom in the work place, a hefty paycheque, so I can buy all these wonderful material things, and ‘ball out of control’ as the saying goes. Being known as the guy who works his ass off and will sacrifice everything to get it done was a wonderful sentiment back then. Although thinking about it now, it’s bullshit. There is no balance in that way of operating. In fact, I think it’s the passing lane towards being alone.
In the last two years my priorities have changed. Work is still an important means to paying bills, and putting ‘food on the table’, I appreciate that. Although, materialism is at an all-time low in my life. I don’t feel the pleasure anymore from attaining objects. My solace is found by expressing myself creatively and sharing this with a supportive community of like-minded people. Most importantly family is priority.
I guess that’s why I experienced such a low point. My priorities at work did not align with my values. Values in the form of health, family, friends, working on the projects I’m truly passionate about - GuitarBorn, my basement development; offering value to others any way that I can outside of work. When I was working those crazy hours at work, it was as if I reverted back to my old self – a sense of selfishness.
Perhaps, my values are still in transition. I believe that your priorities indicate your values. I need to make slight adjustments if I want to regain balance in my life.
I’m finally back in the shop next week. I’m excited to say that I’ll be doing some industrial design. I’m creating a neck-to- body joint jig. The body to neck joint is a mortis and tenon joint, respectively. It’s the part of the build that most luthiers have a lack of confidence on – as I do. This is the most important joint – and if not done properly can lead to a guitar that won’t play properly. I’ve always wanted to improve my skills specific to this joint. My goal is to create a dependable, adjustable, repeatable joint. I need to do this for Noel’s guitar and future guitars to come.
-- Cliff
